Amy Rebecca Johnson
Attorney, Paule, Camazine & Blumenthal, P.C.
Chair (2021-22), BAMSL Well-Being Committee
Originally published in the February 2022 issue of the St. Louis Lawyer magazine. Download PDF.
A Facebook memory of a post I made in 2013 popped up when I was checking my timeline earlier today. It said, "When it comes to setting long term goals, I'm not the best. I tend to be more of a 'take things as they come' type of person. This morning I was gently reminded to focus on 'by design and not default.' This doesn't mean that everything needs to be mapped out and planned, but it does mean that focusing on what I want will ensure that my life is not by default. It seems simple, but it is a reminder of why people who have both similar and different strengths from us are important. Thanks for helping me push on."
I have thought a lot about this post today. I have no idea who I was talking to in 2013 that prompted the post or what was specifically happening in my life that created a scenario in which planning, rather than reacting, came into focus. After searching through the comments associated with the post and checking my memory for something that might trigger understanding on the catalyst for the post, I started instead to look at this in the grand scheme of my life then versus now. I am nine years older and a lot has changed. Personal and family relationships are different, my experience in the law has grown, and I am a member of a firm instead of a solo practitioner (this is obviously not an exhaustive list).
It is true that I am not necessarily a long-term goal type of person. The question, "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" has always been difficult for me to answer. I plan for the long-term by adding to my savings and retirement, and I do set goals, but I have a hard time picturing what my life will look like years from now. I tend to be a "take things as they come" type of person, but I like to think that I do so responsibly by considering the options at hand, educating myself about the options, and then choosing the one that is best.
Throughout my reflection today, I realized that while answering the 10-year question is challenging and likely always will be for me, I maintain habits that help me prepare for the future. Some wise words I once heard, a sentiment that really resonated with me, popped into my head during my day of reflection. It was something like, "We don't decide our futures, we decide our habits, and our habits shape our futures."
Not only do I think that this is true, but I can see this at play with the nine-year-old Facebook post. Despite some significant aspects of my life being different, there are habits or behaviors I had already established in 2013 that prepared me for where I am today and which I maintain today. From a legal practice perspective, I woke up early to start my day, I developed a system for my solo practice to allow me to be organized and structured, I established boundaries for clients that took into account things that are important to me, and I made the time to step away from work from time to time to rejuvenate.
By being committed to those habits, I can see how my 2013 self was designing a life that makes my 2022 self a balanced, successful and emotionally sound person. I still get up early, my client boundaries are steadfast, and I know how to take time for myself. While not even completely realizing it, I have always been preparing, and am still today, for my long term.
I have designed my life, whether consciously or not. And I am thankful to the glimpse into the past that Facebook gave me this morning.
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